Bringing My Rock To A Sword Fight!

 “You weren’t rejected, I hid your value from them because they were not assigned to your destiny.”

 

Shy: (Adjective) Being reserved or having or showing nervousness or timidity in the company of other people

Social Anxiety: An intense, persistent fear of being watched and judged by others

Introvert: (Noun) A shy, reticent person

Fear: An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous,

Time stopped as I stood at the front of the room completely naked and exposed.  My body was frozen solid. Sweat beads covered my forehead.  My mind had been wiped clean – not a single thought to grasp.  My heart pounded inside of my chest as I  nervously waited for some form of communication to exit my mouth.   It was my turn to speak on my team’s progress at our monthly team meeting.  I’ve always been the employee who puts her best foot forward. I had prepared.  I knew the material like the back of my hand but at that very moment I had nothing .  I was lost for words for what seemed like an eternity.    I began to fumble over my uhm’s and ahh’s until my colleague gracefully rescued me from my nightmare of public speaking.      

Public speaking is my fear.  Ok, it’s my nightmare and for years it has hindered me from progressing in my career and ministry.  Bishop TD Jakes once said, “Your battle is your bridge over to your destiny.”  This really resonated with my spirit.  Immediately I knew that the lack of confidence and trembling fear of speaking out was my battle.  How could  this be a part of my destiny?  

I  have always known within my heart  that my destiny  was to simply be a blessing to others in some shape or form.  I have tremendous love and compassion for people.  I have a server’s heart.  Even with that  how could I reach people when  I feel lost at sea in any crowd big or small. My mom has said for years – “Keshia you have a work to do for the Lord”.  As funny as this may sound, I was always afraid to seek God for purpose because I knew my destiny would obviously involve talking to people – and not just people but possibly a large crowd of people!  Yikes!

How could I reach  for my  fellow brothers and sisters when I find myself  sinking and frantically gasping for air at the slightest thought of leading a small group?   “God!  Please throw me a life preserver!” I cried out.   Well be careful what you ask for.  He threw me this blog and told me to swim!  

So here I am,  just me – a shy introvert with a bit of social anxiety facing my Goliath by the grace of God.  I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend and entrepreneur who believes God’s love has no limits and we can never fall too far from his grace.  I am a survivor. I am a victim. I am a statistic. I am conqueror. I have been enslaved. I have been set free. I have been a problem. I have been a solution. I have been broken. I have been made whole.  I am a sinner saved by grace.  I am a servant of God.  I am victorious. I am the Author4Me. I have something to say! I write my own stories each day with quite a few mistakes and edits. I listen intensely as most introverts do. I live on purpose knowing God’s love will always prevail over my imperfections.  

I want to stand-in-the-gap for you through intercessory prayer, life discussions, inspirational stories, advice, scripture and much more.  I want to face my Goliath with you.  I want to share with you how God is helping me to meet my destiny.  I want to help you bridge the gap between the waves of  life’s social stresses and God’s perfect peace.  Through this platform I want to give you a voice. This blog will help you swim too! 

I am the Author4Me! 

Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell facedown on the ground. 1 Samuel 17:49